Did you know that cauliflower is part of the mustard family? Me neither. Who would ever have guessed that the mild, broccoli-like vegetable had anything to do with mustard. In fact, I was 90% sure they had never met. Turns out I was wrong. 
It’s an underappreciated vegetable, that’s for sure. My mom used to stick it in homemade macaroni and cheese when we were young. I don’t mind the taste, but it was always disappointing to save a particularly creamy-looking bite for last, thinking it consisted of noodles and cheese, only to find out that it was a piece of cauliflower. Very anticlimactic.
However, Tyler assured us that this recipe would put cauliflower on the A-list once and for all. Christine was skeptical – she hates cauliflower. But she agreed to try it anyway, which was commendable.
So there we were, in the kitchen, around 5:00. The recipe starts with simmering milk, so that’s what was happening. You know the saying, “A watched pot never boils”? Yeah – try milk. The stuff just SITS THERE. It refuses to even begin to bubble if you keep an eye on it. So I busied myself with cutting up the head of cauliflower…interesting task, there. Cauliflower is kind of brittle. It just breaks apart into little white pieces. Feels weird, too.
When the milk finally started to simmer, we added the cauliflower pieces, the thyme, and the butter. I have to say – the butter is the key to this recipe. I’m not going to say how much is in there, because my family reads this and I don’t want them to get alarmed. But what are the three secrets to French cooking? Butter, butter and <whisper> butter. You get the idea.
I’m not sure this recipe is French. But obviously, the rule still holds. 
So we capped the pot – I’m sorry, I mean, we “covered the pot and simmered for 12 to 15 minutes” – and began to work on the topping. That’s right. This soup has a breadcrumb topping. If you ever make this recipe, you may be tempted (as I was) to just leave off the breadcrumbs. Don’t. The topping takes this soup from “really good” and turns it into “phenomenal”. It’s made of toasted, homemade breadcrumbs (Progresso doesn’t cut it), little pieces of cauliflower, chopped nuts, parsley, and…you guessed it…BUTTER. Really good stuff. Christine took care of mixing it together, during which she was saying over and over, “Check it click! Check it click!” You’re confused, aren’t you? I didn’t really get it at first, either. She’s quoting the E-Trade baby.
My sister is quoting the E-TRADE BABY COMMERCIAL and we don’t even own a TV. What do you call that? Talent? Obsession? Really good memory banks? Sad? Funny? I don’t know. Either way, it’s meant to express delight and satisfaction with one’s work.
So anyway, we used our really cool immersion blender to puree the soup and get rid of those pretty hefty pieces of cauliflower. It was beautiful and everything, but I knew what the ingredients were, and I couldn’t help but think it would taste a lot like…milk.
However, my taste buds were shocked and overjoyed with the end result. Christine described it as a soup version of macaroni and cheese. It was creamy, white velvet, topped with that amazing breadcrumb concoction (another throwback to macaroni and cheese, in my opinion). The family couldn’t stop talking about it. WOW.
And now Christine likes cauliflower.
So Tyler, my hat is off to you. You’re absolutely incredible. This recipe? It leaves me…speechless. And those who know me well will agree that this phenomenon does not often happen.
On a scale from 1 to 10: 10++.
Christine wanted me to rate this “little taste of paradise” as a 12, but I can’t break my scale like that. Just know that it was THAT GOOD. Oh, we put some homemade, gluten-free cranberry-walnut bread on the side. And it was pretty fantastic as well. We are so making this again. Soon.
